How To Care For A Caregiver

We all have a caregiver in our lives who deserves to be cared for. Someone who takes care of a child, someone elderly, someone chronically ill, or someone disabled. It could be temporary, like during recovery from an injury, or for a long time, such as with someone chronically ill. No matter the circumstances, being a caregiver is a lot of work and they need to be cared for too. 

Verbally thank them

Maybe you already say ‘thank you’ when they do something, but that might not be enough. It can feel like general politeness or an automatic response. Every so often, you should tell them directly what you notice that they do to provide care and how grateful you are for their actions. Give specific examples and elaborate to show that you’re aware of their efforts and are sincere. 

We don’t tell others enough how appreciated they are, but if anyone should be told more often it’s caregivers. Some examples of what they do to provide care can be preparing meals, handling medications, keeping areas clean, and running errands. You can verbally tell them, give them a card, or write them a letter. However you tell them, words of gratitude can go a long way. 

Give them time off 

Everyone needs a break. Make it possible for them to have time off from caregiving, physically and mentally. That means taking care of their tasks during that time. Having them leave their responsibilities for some time, only for them to come back to piled-up work is not helpful. It just gives them more stress.  

Get, or be, a babysitter, or whatever the equivalent in their situation is, for a few hours. Even a short break can help their mental health. If their temporary replacement can’t do all the same care tasks, find activities, times, or events that the person they care for would need less care. For example, while someone is sleeping they typically don’t need much. 

If you can’t do all the same tasks but can help them with their basic needs, watching them for that time still helps give the caregiver a break. It could seem like that would be a break time for the caregiver already, but it isn’t. Even if the person they’re caring for is taken care of at the moment, they are still attentive to them in case they need something else. Give them a real break by being attentive to the person instead and alleviating their mental load, even if for a short time. 

Take them out of the house 

Time off is great, but time off to do something fun is even better. Take them to their favorite restaurant, have a spa day, or go see their favorite band. Whatever you choose to do, make sure it is something they would enjoy. You wouldn’t take someone who doesn’t like crowds to a busy bar when the point is for them to have fun. 

With how expensive everything is and covid ramping up again, it may not be possible or safe to take them where you would like, but there are alternatives. You don’t have to take them somewhere expensive if you’re unable to, and it doesn’t have to be complicated. There are museums, gardens, libraries, parks, and other places that are free or low-cost. Even going for a walk around the block to get fresh air can be a fun activity and a refreshing break. 

Mark things off their to-do list

Everyone has a to-do list that can feel never-ending. Between taking care of themselves and taking care of someone else, a caregiver’s list can be extra long. If you want to make their life a little easier, ask them what is on their to-do list and help them mark things off. Even better if you already know and take some initiative to get things done. 

Even small tasks, like making a phone call, watering a plant, or walking a pet can be helpful and gives them one less thing to do. Remember that part of taking over a task is taking the mental load too. They can give you the end goal but you have to plan and execute the task. If they have to delegate every step to you, then they still have the mental load.

Help them with errands

Maybe they have some tasks that involve going out somewhere. Such as getting groceries, picking up medications, bringing in the mail, taking a pet to the groomer, or doing some shopping. If they have a lot of responsibilities and are frequently busy, it can be difficult for them to make time to go out and run errands. 

To lend them a helping hand, you can run those errands for them. It doesn’t necessarily have to be out of your way either. If you’re going grocery shopping, ask them if they need anything from the same place. Or if you know you’ll be driving by their pharmacy, ask them if you can pick up any medications for them. Even if you can’t help them personally, you can hire services to deliver what they need and save them a trip. 

Make sure they’re taking care of themselves

When taking care of someone else it’s easy to lose track of taking care of oneself. They care for someone else but they need to be cared for too. Remind them to put themselves first and ensure they have all their needs met. They know what they need to do for themselves, but they might not have the time to do so. Helping them with their tasks, errands, and responsibilities to give them a break gives them that time. 

Ensure they’re taking care of their physical needs, such as eating a well-balanced diet, staying hydrated, keeping up with hygiene, and getting enough rest, and don’t forget about their mental health. Talk to them about how they are feeling and let them vent about any frustrations they may have. Most importantly, let them know that all their efforts do matter and that they make a big difference.