The Pros And Cons Of Keeping Your Health Issues Private
Most illnesses are invisible, which means that other people can’t tell that something is wrong with your health just by looking at you. The great thing about this is that others won’t know unless you want them to know. The bad thing is you can still have a lot of judgment about things that are not your fault and expectations placed on you that you can’t achieve. It can be a tough decision about who to share your health issues with, so here are the pros and cons of sharing or not sharing:
Pros to telling others about your health issues:
Your illness is a part of you, whether you like it or not. Most illnesses can be managed but they have their ups and downs. Telling someone about it is like sharing a part of yourself.
Honesty
By not hiding a part of yourself you’re not just able to be more honest with others, but more honest with yourself. You aren’t putting self-limitations to keep your health secret and it can be empowering to have that kind of self-acceptance.
Community
There’s a large chronic illness community presence online. If you’re willing to be open about your illness and experiences there are a lot of people you can connect with. Even if you don’t want to interact with anyone, you can read about others’ experiences and know you’re not alone.
Accommodations
If others know that you have an illness, it’s easier to get accommodations. You can ask for help more easily and you have a valid excuse that doesn’t need much further explanation.
Awareness
Most people don’t know a lot about illnesses that they don’t personally deal with unless they know someone with it. By being that person you can educate them and raise awareness about what your condition is really like.
Always an excuse
My favorite pro of others knowing about my chronic illness is that I always have an excuse if I don’t want to go somewhere. I rarely use it, but it’s nice to know it’s an option.
Pros to not telling others about your health issues:
With an invisible illness, you have the benefit of not having everyone know your problems just by looking at you. So if you don’t want anyone to know, you have every right to hide it.
Privacy
The biggest pro to not telling others about your health is privacy. You can keep everything to yourself or share only the necessary details. The only people who really need to know everything about your health issues are you and your doctor.
You can deal with it alone
Not telling others gives you the chance to process everything at your own pace and without judgment. If you’re someone who prefers to process their emotions on their own first, then you have every right to do so.
No pity looks
One of the most uncomfortable things about others knowing about your illness can be the looks of pity they give you. If others don’t know about your illness, then they can’t give you those looks. They can’t judge what they don’t know.
Avoiding prejudice
Unfortunately, a lot of people think that chronic illness or disability reflects a moral failing, even though that’s not true. Typically people that think that way also often have a mental image of what a sick or disabled person looks like, and usually it’s someone with a visible disability. With an invisible illness, you can take advantage of their preconceived ableist judgments to avoid prejudice.
Cons to telling others about your health issues:
While telling others about your health issues does have its benefits, it can also have unintended consequences.
Less privacy
Sharing personal health information can compromise your privacy because there is the risk of whoever you tell going to tell someone else. Depending on where you discuss your issues you can also have the risk of someone overhearing something you didn’t intend to tell them.
Social stigma
Ideally, people wouldn’t judge others for health issues that are out of their control, but unfortunately, some people think that if someone has an illness or disability, it’s because they did something wrong. It’s a misconception, but still, something you could potentially have to deal with.
Emotional drainage
Discussing your illness can bring up difficult emotions and may require you to repeatedly explain or relive challenging experiences, which can be draining. It’s also not your job to educate everyone about your illness when the internet exists, but many people are too lazy to do their own research.
Cons to not telling others about your health issues:
While privacy is important, and not everybody needs to know about your health, there are some setbacks to some people not knowing.
Incorrect judgments
Illness can make us unreliable and people can get the wrong idea because of what they don’t know. Before I got a diagnosis, I would fall asleep suddenly in class due to severe anemia. My professors thought I was just rude and started talking about me because of it. Once they learned of my illness, they were a lot more lenient with me.
No accommodations
Work and school can provide reasonable accommodations that can make a huge difference, but only if you ask for them. You don’t have to tell them everything at once. You can provide a doctor’s note saying that you have an unspecified medical condition that requires accommodations and go from there, providing only the necessary information.
Isolation
Chronic illness is a lot to deal with and it causes you to grieve the loss of your health. If you don’t share what’s going on with anyone and deal with everything alone, it can be pretty isolating. People who love you want to be there for you, but they can’t do anything if you keep them in the dark.
Ultimately it’s up to you who you do or don’t tell. You don’t have to tell everyone, and you don’t have to share everything. Telling someone about your illness can be good, bad, or neutral, depending on the situation. Your health is a bit part of you but you choose what pieces of yourself to share.